How To kill Lion

Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for
late nights but give him no
work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again
and again. hire 100 more lions but do not
increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and
more .......
TCS method: hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and
pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and
frustration
IBM's metbod: hire a lion, give him a pink slip
in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once
he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never
reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a
Lion.... MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14
tests and tell him that if he
doesn't
score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain? i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him
he is a lion, send him in African
safari
for implementing flexcube in
god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band
movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real
lion
COSL Method: hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats
(polaris) and reduce his
allowance...
lion dies from fear that
tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion
(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of
9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM ) cut down his allowance
(coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming
CAT.....
Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a
long time Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and
Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other
languages speaking ppl other
than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a
Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is
Tiger or lion......
HUAWEI Method: Hire a Cat; give him a salary of
a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even
on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN
MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
........................ ...... .....................KIN G OF THE
JUNGLE! J
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC
COMPREE EXAM
........................ ....................LION
TURNS INTO CAT MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM
COMPREE EXAM
........................ ........................ ..
CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION
WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
........................ ..................MOUSE
RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR
HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING
ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
........................ ........................
MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE...